Monday, June 17, 2013

Entry #31 : Honest Confession of an A lvl student.

This is my first post in June.
and the best way to start it is by saying

I'm officially done with A lvls 
I've graduated, bitches !

( BEWARE : Long post ahead !!! )
I've been writing this post since day one of exams, reflecting on what I've been through the past year and a half.
I remember how I came with the decision of spending one and a half year in A lvls.
It was simply because I wanted to escape from making a choice and at that time, I was really pressured by my parent's constant questioning and then a solution came along.
A solution where everything will be somewhat similar to high school where coursework has minimal effect on your results and your results are directly proportional to your written exams.
Another honest confession is that, I somehow wanted to challenge my abilities and push my limits.
I have this annoying habit of doing things the hard way, as stupid and as stubborn as it is, that's the truth.
I believed that during the year and a half I spent in college a sudden epiphany would strike me and it will strike me so hard that I'll know which path I should walk down, what I should be doing for the rest of my life and how I'm going to go around achieving that. I really truly believed that.
Sadly, that didn't happen but I'm clearer about what I should be doing now.
After my enrollment to Taylor's College Subang Jaya which is pretty famous for its A lvls Program and being as optimistic as I am, thinking that I'm young and free and I'm on top of the world, I started making plans for myself. I told myself in the beginning of that year that I have so many things I'd like to do throughout the year. I'm going to continue being a cheerleader, I'm going to try being a coach, I'm going to earn myself some allowance, I'm going to work hard and be an A STAR STAR kind of student. With that mindset, I've took my first step forward into college. At first I was placed into the class PM10 but my time there was short lived as I've changed class shortly after that for certain reasons. My heart sank a little after changing classes cause I've just made new friends and all my classmates at that time were lovely. Nonetheless, I've made the decision to change to Fatty's class. I remember vividly the first time I've entered her class or should i say our class cause I just transferred over. It was during Chemistry lesson and it was a practical session, everyone was supposed to be wearing their goggles and their lab coat but I on the other hand didn't bring all of that because it was the first day I transferred over. In addition to that, I arrived late for class that day cause I had to get the approval for transferring classes. Hence, when I walked into that chemistry lab, my class mentor gave me a very hostile look and then asked me for my name. I'm a really loud person in nature so I stated my name real loud in that room and everyone was taken aback slightly. I was already late for the lesson so my class mentor assigned me to be in the same group as my current bestfriend , Ian the asshole voon who was so cute once upon a time. He was so tiny last time, I had a mini crush on him with his glasses and all. 
From that day onwards, I know I left a really bad impression of myself on my class mentor and there was a period of time where I was really stressed up about it.
And that is where the college counsellor comes in.
I first visited him for the career guidance test and one appointment leads to another and we became something like best friends, you could say.
his face makes me want to cry. LOL
Everytime I'm having a hard time coping, I would go to him and somehow all my tears would start rolling down my cheeks.
He was really a pillar of strength to me at that time and I don't know if I've shown my gratitude towards him but THANK YOU SHIN CHAN.
I really appreciated it. 
I truly appreciated those times where I would be sitting in that counselling room with you and you would let me cry not because I was mental but just because I need to release the stone that was residing inside of me.
Over time, I see you less and less as a counsellor but more of a friend,
we would joke around, we would talk and you would have a really good way of making me face the hard truth that I was trying to ignore. 
If I could, I would really like to secretly steal that little file in the counselling room that has my name on it to see what you wrote about me.
After a few months, he left the campus for another career pathway, still working as something related to psychology but well, maybe different and more challenging.
Wherever he is, I'm sure he's playing a very important role in someone else's life like he was to mine sometime last year.
I've stopped visiting the counselling room from the moment he left.
I guess, after that I just continued going to college, working in the evening and training at night.
Eventually, as days goes by, AS trials started and cheerleading competition was drawing near and all the teams were getting ready to compete on the blue mats.
This time, I've worked slightly harder for my exams compared to when I was having my semester exams.
And of course, results are directly proportional to your efforts, I started scoring better this time around.
Instead of getting an UNGRADED, at least I'm graded this time.
Even though, it wasn't a tremendous improvement but I believed in progress and my mentor saw that progress and she finally started cutting me some slack.
I still remember my friend telling me that, as long as you've scored well at least ONCE in your tests or exams, the teachers will change their perspective of you.
After experiencing it hands on, I'll verify that fact for you.
but it's for a good cause.
Now that I think about it,
I deserved the treatment I received at that point of time.
The hard truth is, everyone only works well if they're given some external pressure.
These external pressure will generate a type of internal pressure called stress but this type of stress is necessary and it's a good type of stress cause it pushes you to do better.
And the only reason the mentors will push you is because they want you to do better.
Exams ended and competition officially starts.
The competition I've worked hard towards with my team finally arrived, we did our best for that two days of competitions and we managed to win third for our division (:
Things started looking up from that month onwards but after the competition, I had to take a break from cheerleading due to personal reasons but I've never stopped loving the sport.
Sometimes, in life, you've got to put some things on hold because there are other things you've got to protect.
Nevertheless, A lvls have officially ended now so I'll be back in the cheerleading scene again ! *excited*
I've been waiting for this day.
After the competition, i returned to college like a typical college student, go to class, spend those long breaks having long lunches with people I adore, movie time at the nearest MBO cinemas after class and awesome tuition classes that sometimes turn into lepak sessions with keropok lekor.
Months have passed, my relationship with my class mentor have drastically improved and I'll say this, after all those misunderstandings between both of us before with me thinking she's being mean to me and her thinking I'm always in my own world and not paying attention in class, we're on really good terms right now and she's a really amazing class mentor.
She never rejects me whenever I have troubles with my studies and she'll clear all my doubts one by one.
I guess the reason why she was harsh at first was because she didn't want to see us fail.
AS exams are way easier than A2 exams and if we scored badly for the AS exams it's pretty much impossible to get a good overall unless you retake the exam during the A2 exams but that'll be extra hectic and double the trouble.
Speaking from experience, retaking a subject is not as easy as you think.
Maybe, you will boost your results for that particular subject that you're retaking but chances are, you might pull down the score for your other subjects cause you have to split your focus between all the papers.
Furthermore, the average to get a better grade is lower for A2 compared to AS from what I heard so for all you A lvls students that are studying hard for the AS exams right now, work your ass off now and do it right. Right from the start.
If you put in consistent effort, you'll do well.
Trust me.
However, there'll always be plenty of people that fall into the same category as me despite being warned not to a million times.
Which category you say?
The not last minute also won't start studying category.
My advice?
Just know yourself, your abilities and make a plan if you know you have the attention span of a peanut and you can't sit still for too long.
Btw, trials are important for you to get a good forecast to enter the university of your dreams in England.
Also, after your first year in A lvls, the next half a year will pass in a breeze.
You won't know realize it but it will.
Like how my friend, Sia Wai Jen says it, on the first day of class we carry a backpack of books that probably weigh as much as stones and at the very last semester, we carry no books and just one pencil case.
The lessons feel like they have drastically reduced to half of that we had in the first semester.
Okay, this post is getting way too long so I'll sum it up now,
Throughout this 1.5 year in college,
I've grew as an individual not just academically but mentally,
I've met some really incredible people that I hope will continue to grace my life with their presence no matter the path that we choose and however different they are,
I wish everyone the best and I'll never forget all the moments we've spent together,
for those of you who are leaving the country, be sure to call me up when you're back in KL,
and for those who are staying in Malaysia, all the more reasons to hang out !
We've had our differences along the way but in the end, all of us fall right into place and together, we are one big family.
Also, I wanted to say thank you to my Biology teacher for always believing in me right from the start,
my Maths teacher that tolerated my late entrances to class and always looking out for me in class (What a twist of fate. My Maths teacher is my class mentor before I switched class) and
my class mentor that was ever so willing to give me a helping hand when I needed it and did I mention that she is an awesome photographer and is really good at camwhoring too ! How awesome is that.
And to my Maths tuition teacher, I can never express how much I adore him and his big big belly which is probably the consequence of our excessive eating during lessons and not hitting the gym at all.
Last but not least, my classmates.
Without you guys, I wouldn't have survived the entire A lvls.
Here's to friendship, the ship that never sinks.
Love, kaiwen.

CNY 2012 PM3 style

CNY 2013 
How everyone have grown.
but yet still the same crazy bunch.

All picture credit goes to our talented class photographer and class mentor.
More prom pictures after this.
Stay tuned ! ;)

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